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Mystery man 10/24/2018 09:11 AM CST

Sometimes a question comes in that resonates with my life.

My father (77) has been seeing a woman (44) he met very recently. He says he's falling for her, but my sister and I are having a hard time believing this woman is for real. Is there any way I can convey my confusion about the situation and distrust of this woman without sounding like I just don't want him to be happy?

Had a similar situation the 4th July weekend, when as many of the clan as possible descended for the usual BBQ/party/jam session. My Uncle Steve, who is like a second Dad to me, has started seeing someone now, and about time too. Auntie Ally has been dead nearly 4 years and he has got to be feeling lonely. So he brought his new girlfriend along to meet us all.

I went to school with Steve's new gal. Hell, I dated her briefly at one stage, and that opens up a whole passel of things you really don't want to have to think about while scoffing down burgers and beers.

His kids are horrified and confused and pretty much beseiged me about the whole situation, not something I needed during a party. 


I don't get why. So there is a thirty year age difference. Big deal. Steve is semi retired, and if he wants to have some company and get his exercise in bed, that is no concern of mine.

We argued quite a bit, with my cousins getting more and more upset about the whole situation. It went round in circles until the magic words popped out. 

Gold digger

She must only be after his money, cause what other reason could there be? He is old, and besides, who likes to think of Dad (or Mom) having needs and feelings or even - gasp - sex!

There is no expiration date for love, sex and especially loneliness. He has, I assume in the questioners case, done his duty by his kids, raising them and cherishing them. Now it is his time. Cut him some slack. 

He is not just "Dad" he is a fully independent human being in his own right too with his own needs and desires. So shut up and soldier. This is not about your feelings. It is about his, which you will respect. 

Now if it is the gold digger thing you are still worried about, get to know her. You should do that anyway, but it may set your mind at rest. And if it doesn't, and "your inheritance" is the big concern, guess what? 

Anything your Dad has is your Dad's, to do with as he wishes. He wants to gamble it away on a single roll of the dice - he can. He wants to give it all to a home for retired pimps - it is his right. He wants to spend his last years with some warm and loving company - get out of here, your greed and selfishness is making me physically sick.

One of my cousins is no longer talking to me.
No great loss.

 

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